Steinbuch v. Hachette Book Group

Filing 12

First MOTION to Dismiss by Hachette Book Group (Attachments: # 1 Exhibit A, # 2 Exhibit B)(Anderson, Philip)

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UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Robert Steinbuch Plaintiff, -v Jessica Cutler & Ana Marie Cox, Defendants. : Index No.: 1:05-CV-970 (PLF) Judge Paul L. Friedman FIRST AMENDED COMPLAINT I. Introductory Statement 1. This civil action for invasion of privacy for public revelation of private facts and false light arises from the dissemination, on the World Wide Web, of an X-rated blog by describing in graphic detail the intimate amorous and sexual relationship between Cutler and the Plaintiff and by making false statements about Plaintiff. 2. Defendant Cutler outrageous actions, setting before anyone in the world with access to the Internet intimate and private facts regarding Plaintiff, constituted a gross invasion of his privacy, subjecting him to humiliation and anguish beyond that which any reasonable person should be expected to bear in a decent and civilized society. 3. Cutler and Cox worked together to invade Plaintiff's privacy. II. The Identity of the Parties 4. Plaintiff was an attorney employed on the staff of United States Senate Judiciary Committee. 5. The Defendant Jessica Cutler was employed as a member of the staff of Senator Dewine. 6. The Defendant Ana Marie Cox spread gossip on the Internet on a website named "Wonkette." 7. The parties are diverse. III. 8. Plaintiff demands ajury trial. Jury Trial IV. Jurisdiction and Venue 9. Jurisdiction is founded on diversity of citizenship and amount in controversy. 10. Plaintiff was a citizen of the state of Maryland. 11. The Defendants are citizens of other states, none of them Maryland. 12. The matter in controversy far exceeds, exclusive of interests and costs, the sum of $75,000. 13. Venue is proper in this Court because acts giving rise to the claims and the residence of the Defendant Cutler was at the time in the District of Columbia. V. Factual Allegations 14. Cutler created and maintained a "blog," an internet site, on which she disclosed private facts of Plaintiff and portrayed Plaintiff in false light. 15. In her blog, Cutler identified herself as the "Washingtonienne." 16. Cutler chose this name due to its similarity to the "Wonkette" blog's name, which belonged to Defendant Ana Marie Cox. 17. Blogs and other internet sites may be "password protected," permitting only authorized users to have access. Cutler, however, declined the option of password protection, instead intentionally making her blog publicly available to anyone who hit upon the site on the Internet. 18. Cutler's Washingtonienne blog was accessible and open to the public. 19. Cutler intended her Washingtonienne blog to be accessible and open to the public. 20. Cutler's Washingtonienne blog was searchable and discoverable on the internet. 21. Cutler intended her Washingtonienne blog to be searchable and discoverable on the internet. 22. In the public blog, Cutler maintains ongoing conversations with strangers, explicitly recognizing the public nature of her blog. 23. Any part of a blog can be altered at any time. 24. Cutler routinely edited all aspects of he blog, up an until May 18, 2004. 25. The dates and times accompanying different statements in he blog do not refer to the last time that those specific parts of the whole blog were written or edited, because Cutler changed those parts of the complete blog thereafter. 26. Cutler explicitly informed others of her public X-rated blog. 27. Cutler discussed with friend(s) commercializing her blog. 28. Cutler's friends told other people about Cutler's X-rated blog. 29. Cutler approved of her friends informing others about her X-rated blog. 30. Regardless of the number of people that Cutler explicitly informed (both known and unknown to her) about her X-rated blog, she made the blog available to the public at large by her putting it directly on the internet and not seeking any password protection or other security or using email instead. 31. Cutler readily granted permission for her friend(s) to direct other person(s) completely unknown to Cutler to read Cutler's public X-rated blog. 32. Cutler wanted as many people as possible to read her blog. 33. Cutler wanted to make money from her blog. 34. Cutler maintained no privacy of her blog. wanted to gain additional readers. She freely let anyone read it and 35. The blog was available on the internet for anyone to read. 36. People unknown to Cutler read her blog. 37. Cutler's public blog described in graphic detail her ongoing sexual relationships with six men, including Plaintiff. At the time of his relationship with Cutler, Plaintiff did not know that Cutler was simultaneously engaged in sexual relationships with another man, let alone with five other men, and let alone that she was prostituting herself to some of them; and Plaintiff did not know that Cutler was recording the details of her relationship with Plaintiff on a public blog, making those details available to the public. 38. At the time of Plaintiff's relationship with Cutler, Cutler was simultaneously engaged in sexual relationships with five other men, and prostituting herself to some of them. 39. At the time of Plaintiff's relationship with Cutler, Cutler never disclosed that she was recording the details of her relationship with Plaintiff on a public blog, making those details available to the public. Indeed, Cutler claimed that she would never do such a thing. 40. Cutler's public blog provides cumulatively identifying characteristics of Plaintiff, culminating with the disclosure of Plaintiff's name at the very end of the blog. 41. Plaintiff was ultimately clearly identifiable to a substantial segment of the community as one of the sexual partners of Cutler described in her public blog. 42. Cutler referred to Plaintiff by his first name in her publicly available blog. 43. Cutler referred to Plaintiff by his initials, "R.S." in her publicly available blog. 44. Cutler identified Plaintiff in her public blog through his religion, Jewish; his job, Committee Counsel to the Senate Committee on the Judiciary; his place of residence, Bethesda; the fact that he has a twin; his general appearance; and details of Cutler's intimate relationship with Plaintiff that Cutler had previously disclosed to colleagues and co-workers. 45. Plaintiff's identity became clear upon the reading of the complete blog. 46. Cutler's public blog contained, inter alia, the following passages of and concerning Plaintiff: Item! A new contender for my fair hand. He works in one of the Committee offices. We will call him RS. To answer The Question, no, RS and I did not fuck. (It is my "week off" if you recall.) BUT... RS looks just like George Clooney when he takes off his glasses. I am serious. Has a great ass. Number of ejaculations: 2 He likes spanking. (Both giving and receiving.) Iput the moves on HIM. That is, I brought him back to MY place, I was the one 5 who jumped on HIM. I was drunk, but he was totally sober. (At least I have an excuse for my behavior!) So In seeing ANOTHER person on the Hill. At least this one is counsel, and not an aide. 0MG. RS just came in here to say hi. But I got nervous and acted weird. Shit! I told my coworkers about the spanking over lunch, but left out the nasty parts. (We were eating.) So they were shocked. Not sure I should have told them. One of them told me that RS wore a purple turtleneck with a bright blue fleece over it at a recent staff retreat. Now I wonder if he's crazy or what. Then she mentioned that RS is very discrete, so lain taking that as a hint to keep quiet. RSjust e-mailed me: Hey, had a nice time yesterday. going to NY tonight, but let's get some dinner or something next week. interested? I said yes. What am I getting myself into? Yes, I like him, but am I attracted to him or the impending drama?? I really don't get myself sometimes. I take weekends offfromn this blog. So before I go, this is the plait: Take cab over to W place in Georgetown. Fuck. Get dinner someplace expensive. W drives me home to Cap Hill. Go to keg parry at coworker's house. (RS will not be there. Maybe fuck somebody else?) I told MD I had some news, so he sat down with me in the cafeteria and I told him about RS. So I leave the cafeteria and start walking back to the office, and I see RS. We stopped and talked in the hail and he asked me out for a drink tonight. (Except he doesn't drink?) I look really good today, so I'm glad I hit Iwo birds with one stone during my lunch hour. I am so busted. Went out w/ RS after work yesterday. He took me out for drinks, took me back to my place, and wefucked evet which way. THEN he tells me that he heard I've been spreading the spanking rumor around the office! But last night was fin. He's vemy up-front about sex. He likes talking dirty and stuff and he told me that he likes submissive women. Good, now I can take it easy in bed. Just lay back and watch him dofreaky shit. By popular demand, I have finally created a key to keeping my sex lfe straight. In alpha order: AJ= The intern in my office whom I want to fuck. F=Married man who pays inefor sex. Chi ef of Staff at one of the gay agencies, appointed by Bush. J=Lost my virginity to him and fell in love. Dude who has been driving me crazy since 1999. Lives in Springfield, IL. Flies haifway across the country to ftick me, then I don't hear from him for weeks. MD=Dude from the Senate office I interned in Jan. thru Feb. Hired me as an intern. Broke up my relationship w/ MK (see below). MK=Serious, ion g-termn boyfriend whom I lived with since 2001. Disastrous break up in March, but still seeing each other. R=AKA "Threesome Dude." Somebody I would rather forget about. RS=My new office bf with whom lain embroiled in an office sex scandal. The current favorite. W=A sugar daddy who wants nothing but anal. Keep trying to end it with him, but the money is too good. Shit. I'm flicking six guys. Ewww. Oooh, RS just called me. He asked me out again tonight, but I have plans w/MK @ 9pm. (We're watching the ANTM special together.) Two nights in a row. I like him, but WTF? RSjust called again. Bad news: the rumor has spread to other offices. This is bad. We went to his house after dinner, a four bedroom in Bethesda. Needs work, but v. cute. So it turns out that RS cannot finish with a condom on. He can barely stay hard. So he ends up taking it off and humping away at me. Maybe I forgot to tell him that hn on the Pill. Note to self.. I also learned that he was a cop, so he has scaiy police shit like handcuffs in his closet. He implied that we would be using them next time, which is intriguing, but I know Pin going to get scared and panicicy. (Which would probably turn him on.) I like this crazy hair-pulling, ass-smacking dude who wants to use handcuffs on me. Shit. So my friend AS met up with me at RR and I had two genius ideas: I. We should go to Saki. 2. AS should meet RS. So I called RS and told him to come over so AS could get a look at himn. This morning she says (via IM), "He does look like George Clooney, but he's totally Woody Allen." She also said, "He will do anything to make you happy." Isn't that sweet? And it's true: he stood in line with us at Saki for 1 1/2 hours! When Saki closed, we got some nasty Pizza Mart slices that tasted really good at the time. Then AS went home and RS took me back to his place for the second night in a row. I passed out as soon as I lay down, so we didn't do anything. I woke up with an awful hangover and bat-fed up my Pizza Mart. (Pin losing weight!) Then RS drove me home and made me promise to call hun again today. So I called RS after MK left in a hiff I ended up sleeping over in Bethesda for the third night in a row. He wants us to get tested together so we can stop using condoms. Isn't that sweet? Hope I don't have anything! He's Jewish, Fin not. And we have nasty sex like animals, not man and wife. I really just want to be a Jewish housewife with a big rock on my finger. Going to see the movie Troy tonight. RS told me to call him afteiwards. Wants sex. We've only been dating a week, and we already have a routine. Oh, I forgot: I learned that RS has a twin! (Unf nobody finds this as fascinating asldo.) Getting involved in a new relationship really just means ruining your nightlife. I resolve not to let this happen to me: I got bored and restless in my last relationship, and look what happened. Call it Madame Bovary Syndrome. Going out and getting trashed at least three times a week is the only cure. RS called last night. He had a visitor flying in from NYC who was stuck in a holding pattern over DC for an hour. (Whofliesfrom NY to DC anymore? Take the train! Or the $10 Chinatown bus.) He was bored, so he picked me up and took me back to his house. His friend arrived around 11:30pm, and was exhausted from his hellish plan ride. So Rob and I went upstairs and got ready for bed. Warning: the following passage is extremely corny. Get ready to vom. So I get into bed and by then, it's midnight. "What time is it?" RS asks. 10 "Midnight," I reply. "Do OU know what that means?" "Uh. no." .. "That means it's your birthday. "And he pulls out this pink and green package, and I just know it a new Lilly dress. And it was. Then wefucked missionary. And he came. With a condom on. Then he was like, "Who the hell comes missionary anymore?!" Is that the quote of the day or what? 47. At the same time that Cutler was posting her public blog, she was also writing on her Senate computer a journal on how to exploit men for financial and materialistic gain. 48. In her public blog Cutler admiringly referenced Anna Marie Cox's "Wonkette" blog. 49. In her public blog Cutler hyper-linked to Anna Marie Cox's "Wonkette" blog. 50. Cutler wanted to have Cox spread the word regarding Cutler's blog. 51. Sure enough, on May 18, 2004, the Wonkette described the Cutler blog's contents, republished excerpts on the Wonkette web site, and linked back to Cutler's public blog. 52. Cutler and Cox saw the X-rated Washingtonienne blog as their route to riches. 53. Cox admitted on her Wonkette blog that the material on Cutler's blog might "invade someone's privacy." 54. That notwithstanding, Cox linked to Cutler's Washingtonienne blog. 55. That notwithstanding, Cox republished parts of Cutler's blog. 56. Cutler's "Washintonienne" public blog became notorious throughout Washington, D.C. and the nation. 57. Cutler always wanted to have her blog gain notoriety. 58. Within days, the full identification of Plaintiff was repeated through other internet sites, through numerous mainstream newspapers and tabloid publications published in the United States and abroad, and through various broadcast and cable television media beginning immediately. The dissemination including stories published or broadcast by such mass media outlets at The Washington Post, The New York Tunes, the Cable News Network, Fox Television News, The Scotsman, The Guardian, The India Tunes, The New York Post, The National Enquirer, and The Star. 59. Within three days of Cox's linking back to Cutler's blog, Cutler called Cox and granted Cox permission to post on her website (Wonkette) that Cutler was the source of the Washingtonienne public blog. 60. Cox published Cutler's identity with Cutler's express permission notoriety she coveted. 61. Cutler went out on a late-night drinking spree with Cox. 62. Cutler posed for sexually suggestive photos with Cox that Cox put on removed from ---- giving her the and later her website. 63. Cutler spent the night at Cox's house in Arlington, Virginia. 64. Cutler and Cox used the private facts of Plaintiff for their personal profit and exploitation. 65. Cutler got an agent, with Cox's help. 66. Cox paid Cutler to write for her website. 67. Cox and Cutler went on television together. 68. Cutler and Cox discussed posing jointly for Playboy Magazine. 69. Cutler sought widespread public attention and publicity for herself; she further disseminated the contents of the public blog through the channels of mass media; she granted print, broadcast, and Internet interviews, capitalizing on her newfound fame and attention. 70. On June 2, 2004, Cutler authored an article in the Guardian Newspaper online, in which she linked to and republished the full contents of her Washingtonienne blog again. 71. Cutler signed a deal with Playboy Magazine which included a nude photo spread of Cutler posted on Playboy's Internet site, capitalizing on the publicity generated by her public blog and her relationship with Plaintiff. 72. Cutler signed a book contract, receiving a $300,000 advance, with Hyperion Press, a division of the Disney Corporation, to write a book, of the roman a clef genre, based on her blog. 73. Cutler commented in the press that she feels sorry for those people that write public blogs for years and never obtain a book deal. 74. Cutler said: "With a blog, you cant expect your private life to be private anymore." 75. Cutler said: "Some people with blogs are never going to get famous, and they've been doing it for, like, over a year. I feel bad for them." VI. Causes of Action for Invasion of Privacy -- Including Public Disclosure of Private Facts and False Light 76. Plaintiff repeats the previous paragraphs here. 77. Defendants' actions constitute an invasion of Plaintiff's privacy. 78. Defendants' actions constitute the publication of private facts. 79. Defendants' actions constitute false light. 80. Defendants caused widespread publication of private intimate facts concerning Plaintiff in a manner that would be deemed outrageous and highly offensive to an ordinary reasonable person of average sensibilities, subjecting Plaintiff to severe emotional distress, humiliation, embarrassment, anguish and other damages. 81. Defendants placed Plaintiff in a false light, subjecting Plaintiff to severe emotional distress, humiliation, embarrassment, anguish and other damages. 82. The private facts revealed include such facts as the number of times he ejaculated, his difficulty in maintaining an erection while wearing a particular condom provided by Cutler, spanking and hair pulling during their sexual activity (but conveniently leaving out Cutler's request of both), his intimate personal conversations with Cutler during sexual activity and during the course of their relationship, physical descriptions of his naked body, the physical details of the sexual positions assumed by Cutler and Plaintiff during sexual activity, Plaintiff's suggestion that he and Cutler be tested for sexually transmitted diseases so that they would not have to make use of a condom, statements made by Plaintiff regarding sexual positions. Illustrative of these statements are passages in the Cutler public blog, inter alia, such as: Has a great ass. Number of ejaculations: 2 He likes spanking. (Both giving and receiving.) Iput the moves on HIM. That is, I brought him back to MY place, I was the one who jumped on HIM. Went out w/RS after work yesterday. He took me out for drinks, took me back to my place, and wefucked every which way. THEN he tells me that he heard I've been spreading the spanking rumor around the office! But last night was fun. He's very up-front about sex. He likes talking dirty and sttff and he told me that he likes submissive women. Good, now I can take it easy in bed. Just lay back and watch him dofreaky shit. We went to his house after dinner, a four bedroom in Bethesda. Needs work, but v. cute. So it turns out that RS cannot finish with a condom on. He can barely stay hard. So he ends up taking it off and humping away at me. Maybe I forgot to tell him that I'm on the Pill. Note to self.. I also learned that he was a cop, so he has scary police shit like handctffs in his closet. He implied that we would be using them next time, which is intriguing, but I know I'm going to get scared and panicky. (Which would probably turn him on.) I like this crazy hair-pulling, ass-smacking dude who wants to use handciffs on me. Shit. So I called RS and told him to come over so AS could get a look at himn. This morning she says (via IM), "He does look like George Clooney, but he's totally Woody Allen." She also said, "He will do anything to make you happy." When Saki closed, we got some nasty Pizza Mart slices that tasted really good at the time. Then AS went home and RS took me back to his place for the second night in a row. I passed out as soon as flay down, so we didn't do anything. I woke up with an awful hangover and bamfed up 15 my Pizza Mart. (I'm losing weight!) Then RS drove me home and made me promise to call him again today. I need to take it easy tonight, which means I might not go out, and I am sitting out the taco contest for sure. Going to see the movie Troy tonight. RS told me to call him afterwards. Wants sex. We've only been dating a week, and we already have a routine. So I called RS after MK left in a hiff I ended up sleeping over in Bethesda for the third night in a row. He wants us to get tested together so we can stop using condoms. Isn't that sweet? Hope I don't have anything! He's Jewish, I'm not. And we have nasty sex like animals, not man and wife. I really just want to be a Jewish housewife with a big rock on my finger. RS called last night. He had a visitor flying in from NYC who was stuck in a holding pattern over DC for an hour. (Whofliesfromn NY to DC anymore? Take the train! Or the $10 Chinatown bus.) He was bored, so he picked me up and took me back to his house. His friend arrived around 11:30pm, and was exhaustedfromn his hellish plane ride. So Rob and I went upstairs and got ready for bed. Warning: the following passage is extremely corny. Get ready to vom. So I get into bed and by then, it's midnight. "What time is it?" RS asks. "Midnight," I reply. "Do you know what that means?" "Uh. no." .. "That means it's your birthday. "And he pulls out this pink and green package, and I just know it's a new Lilly dress. And it was. Then wefucked missionamy. And he caine. With a condom on. Then he was like, "Who the hell comes missionary anym ore?!" Is that the quote of the day or what? Oh, I forgot: I learned that RS has a twin! (Unf nobody finds this as fascinating as Ido.) 16 83. Other private and personal facts were scandalized in Cutler's public blog, the Washingtonienne, to attract more attention; For example, Plaintiff's response to Cutlers question "am I too lazy in bed?" of "I don't mind passive" was presented as "he told iiie that he likes submissive women." 84. Cutler's X-rated blog contained wholly apocryphal (false) statements about Plaintiff. 85. These statements were not made for any purposes relating to the dissemination of news or material published in the public interest. These statements were instead cruel and malicious exposures of the most intimate details of Plaintiff's life to a world-wide audience. 86. The disclosures of private facts would be highly offensive to any reasonable person. No reasonable person would want the intimate physical, verbal, emotional, and psychological details of his or her sexual life and romantic relationships life exposed against his or her will on the Internet for the entire world to read. 87. The invasion of privacy have caused Plaintiff to suffer economic damages, professional and personal harm, severe emotional distress, humiliation, embarrassment, anguish and other damages. VII. Cause of Action for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress 88. Plaintiff repeats the previous paragraphs here. 89. Defendants' actions constitute outrageous conduct. 90. Plaintiff suffered severe emotional distress. 91. Defendants acted intentionally. 92. Defendants were reckless. 93. Defendants intended to cause Plaintiff to suffer damages. 94. Defendants' actions caused Plaintiff to suffer damages. VIII. Prayer for Relief Wherefore Plaintiff seeks compensatory damages in excess of ten million dollars, punitive damages in excess of ten million dollars, and such other declaratory and injunctive relief as the court shall deem appropriate, attorneys fees, costs and disbursements. Dated: July 9, 2006 Is! Jonathan Rosen Jonathan Rosen (NY0046) 1200 Gulf Blvd., #1506 Clearwater, FL 33767 (908) 759-1116 Attorney for plaintiff A ON iri. 1.. TriAl S, COuLD NOT CARE LESS ABOUT GOVERNMENT OR POLPCS, BUT W0R<NG FOR A SENATOR LOOKS GOOD ON MY RESUME. AND THESE MARBLE HA [WAYS ARE SCH GREA1 PLACES OR M.EHNG BOYS AND HAVE A GLAMOUR JO) SOWtNG OFF MY OUTFITS! FRIDAY, MAY 28 2004 What is this? This is an exact reproduction (fi'orn Internet Explorer cache) of the notrious Washingtonienne blog. Who created it? The author is Jessica Cutler (Wonkett.e interview, WaPo interview, pictures, Links). Who restored it? The archive was saved from the dustheap of history by Kevin at W zbang and restored to it's original (unedited) girny. The original Washingtonienne page was NEVER cached by Google. Where do I start? The entry below this is the last entr at Wash ingtonienne. If you'd like to start at the begining click here to view the first post. ()Z[E) T} Wi;SHNc'TONNE AT 9:18 PM TUESDAY, MAY 15, 2004 I just took a long lunch with F and made a quick $400. When I returned to the office, I heard that my boss was asking about my whereabouts. Loser. RS called last night. He had a visitor flying in from NYC who was stuck in a holding pattern over DC for an hour. (Who flies from NY to DC anymore? Take the train! Or the $10 Chinatown bus.) He was bored, so he picked me up and took me back to his house. His friend arrived around ii:3oprn, and was exhausted from his hellish plan ride. So Rob and I went upstairs and got ready for bed. Warning: the following passage is extremely corny. Get ready to vorn. So I get into bed and by then, it's midnight. "What time is it?" RS asks. "Midnight," I reply. "Do you know what that means?" "Uh...no. "That means it's your birthday." And he pulls out this pink and green package, and I just know it's a new Lilly dress. And it was. Then we flicked missionary. And he came. With a condom on. Then he was like, "Who the hell comes missionary anymore?!" Is that the quote of the day or what? POSTED BY THE WASHINGTONIENI'JE AT 10:59 AM MONDAY, MAY 17. 2(304 Rec'd an e-mail from J today: Hey there. IJghh, I broke up with my girlfriend last night. I hate that shit. There is nothing worse. Except when you work together!!! AH...what was I thinking?? Anyway, what's new with you?? I wrote back: Ha. I knew this would happen. So J is unattached. Too bad he lives in the middle of nowhere. Maybe he'll move out here. THAT would make my blog more interesting! POSTED BY THE WASHINGTONENNE AT 3:05 PM A Syracuse girl makes good: h ttp://wWWflypoSt.eOm/gOsSi p/21o55.hm POSTED BY THE WASHNGTONHNNE AT 10:34 AM First, I want to give a shout-out to my friend's blog, Clueless. It is much funnier than mine. I sent her an e--mail telling her this and she wrote back: "You're crazy--my blog is so boring compared to yours. I'm like, ooooh, I made eye contact with someone today! Yours actually has action occurring on a daily basis. Trust me, it's very entertaining." Not so today. I had a lovely weekend, but nothing awesome happened. Like, on Friday, I ate a really good quesaclilla and went to a movie. (So what?) On Saturday, I went to Eastern Market with RS and we walked around holding hands. (Who cares?) On Sunday, I did errands. (Bring a hook!) Oh, I forgot: I learned that RS has a twin! (Unf, nobody finds this as fascinating as I do.) Getting involved in a new relationship really just means ruining your nightlife. I resolve not to let this happen to me: I got bored and restless in my last relationship, and look what happened. Call it Madame Bovary Syndrome. Going out and getting trashed at least three times a week is the only cure. POSTED BY THE WASH1NGTONIENNE AT 8:56 AM FRIDAY, MAY 14, 2004 I got a raise today! Now I make $25K. (Tasn't that what I was making before??) Most of my living expenses are thankfully subsidized by a few generous older gentlemen. I'm sure I am not the only one who makes money on the side this way: how can anybody live on $ 25K/year?? If you investigated every Staff Ass on the Hill, I am sure you would find out some freaky shit. No way can anybody live on such a low salary. I am convinced that the Congressional offices arc full of dealers and hos. POSTED BY THE WASHNGTOWENNE AT 4:34 PM Going to see the movie Troy tonight. RS told me to call him afterwards. Wants sex. We've only been dating a week, and we already have a routine. POSTED BY THE WAStUNGTON{ENNE AT 3:18 PM MK found my half-empty bottle of K-Y last night. He will probably never speak to m.e again. I feel bad about what I did to MK and I feel like our relationship deserves more than a short write-off, but we both need to move on. I never promised him a rose garden. So I called RS after MK left in a huff. I ended up sleeping over in Bethesda for the third night in a row. He wants us to get tested together so we can stop using condoms. Isn't that sweet? Hope I don't have anything! So I don't know if it's getting serious or what. We're seeing each other every day now. I like him very much and he likes me. But can it go anywhere, i.e. marriage? I don't know. He's Jewish, I'm not. And we have nasty sex like animals, not man and wife. But we work together, so there is an incentive to stay together and avoid an awkward breakup. And after a few months, people around the office will start "hearing wedding bells." I really just want to be a ,Jewish housewife with a big rock on my finger. 0STE..L) 13Y I HL WASHNGTONhNN. Al 953 AM THURSDAY, MAY 13, 2004 Item! "The Real World: D.C." See today's Like You Need Another Reason to Avoid Adams Morgan Wonkette's Kalorama Citizens' Association operative writes to say that "The Real roi.ld: D.C." has found a location for its Ikea showroom/soundstagc: MTV has ptirchasecl the space above Maggie Moo's on i8th St in Adams Morgan. Real World DC here we come. Wondenng if the cast will work for MoveOn or Club for Growth. Or they could work at The New Republic with all the other recent college graduates who aren't paving their own rent. Or worse, they could work on the Hill! POSTED BY THE WASH iGTONENE AT :11 PM I first learned about the SU logo/name change at last night's Chancellor's alumni reception. I bumped into a "contemporary" of mine from da `Cuse who also works in da Senate-in da same office as that girl I saw IVID with a few weeks ago. So we had some drinks at the reception and I went to Red River to meet some people from his office. Unf, she wasn't there, but I learned that she thinks MD is as big of a chump as I do. My SU friend told me that MD was talking to her long before I came to the Hill. She recently broke up with her boyfriend, but SU Dude believes that she won't date MD, they're just friends. (Not that I care anymore, but these things are good to know.) So my friend AS met up with me at RR and I had two genius ideas: 1. 2. We should go to Saki. AS should meet RS. So I called RS and told him to come over so AS could get a look at him. This morning she says (via TM). "He does look like George Clooney, but he's totally Woody Allen." She also said, "He will do anything to make you happy." Isn't that sweet? And its true: he stood in line with us at Saki for 1 1/2 hours! BT''V, Saki has gotten really hard to get into. But I don't know of any other place that is more action-packed on a Wednesday night in Washington. However, AS and I have decided not to go back there for a few months: we actually recognized people from the last time we were there! Which is a v. bad sign. Also, we will go home and change before we go to Saki. Next time, we will not wear our work clothes. When Saki closed, we got some nasty Pizza Mart slices that tasted really good at the time. Then AS went home and RS took me back to his place for the second night in a row. I passed out as soon as I lay down, so we didn't do anything. I woke up with an awful hangover and barfed up my Pizza Mart. (I'm losing weight!) Then RS drove me home and made me promise to call him again today. I need to take it easy tonight, which means I might not go out, and I am sitting out the taco contest for sure. Sony to disappoint any of my fans at Tortilla Coast. POST El.) 13Y THE WASHING 1 ONE NN.A I 0:1 7 AM From the D.O.: "Syracuse changes nickname, logo" http://www.dailvorange.co rn/hews /68o748.html?rnkey=. 4.14705 I don't like. POSTED BY IHE WASHINOTONIENNE AT 9:10 AM WEDNESDAY, MAY 12, 2004 What is my position? I am a Staff Assistant, or "Staff Ass," as the men on the Hill like to say. It's the entry-level job in each office. (For those who don't know.) POSTED DY i{E WAS1iNCTONEN'E: AT 4:20 PM R (Threesome Dude) e-rnailed me while I was out at lunch: How are things on the Hill? I assume everyone's American. Warm here, beautiful out... people trying to forget the state of the world and just enjoy going nuts about the Iraq (and now Afghanistan) prisoner abuse stories and the execution of that young life a little. for inviting me. And thanks again Barring that final drink (and anything I said -- that might have made that a little awkward enjoyed it. And I hope to see you again. Best, R for which I apologize), I really Jesus, what a douche. POSTED BY THE WASHNGTONENNE AT 1 2:59 PM So I went to dinner w/ RS at Lebanese Taverna. He's really not mad about the gossip at all: he's actually joking around the office about it. Like, when he walks out of a room, he'll slap himself on the ass! Me, I'm just hiding in my office until this blows over. We went to his house after dinner, a four bedroom in Bethesda. Needs work, but v. cute. So it turns out that RS cannot finish with a condom on. He can barely stay hard. So he ends tip taking it off and humping away at me. Maybe I forgot to tell him that I'm on the Pill. Note to self... I also learned that he was a cop, so he has scary police shit like handcuffs in his closet. He implied that we would be using them next time, which is intriguing, hut I know I'm going to get scared and panicky. (Which would probably turn him on.) So 9pm comes and goes, and I missed my date with MK. And I was missing ANTh'I! So I just watched it with RS. Meanwhile, MK is trying to call me on my cell (which is turned off inside my handbag.) MK left a very irrate message on my voicemail. He basically hates me now. But when you're crushing on somebody new, that stuff doesn't affect you as much as it should. I slept over at RS's and he drove inc home this morning to change. I'm supposed to call him again today. I'm afraid I really like him. I like this crazy hair-pulling, ass-smacking dude who wants to use handcuffs on me. Shit. POSTEi) 3Y THE WASHNGT0NEiNE AT 9:28 AM TUESDAY, MAY 11, 2004 RS just called again. Bad news: the rumor has spread to other offices. This is had. New stuff from Martha Stewart! http://www.rnarthastewart.com If you're like me and you're decorating a new apartment (because your boyfriend kicked you out), you need to stop hatin' on Martha: her stuff is the cutest! I'm getting the faux bois pattern throw pillows, and the seaweed and coral candles! POSTED BY THE WASHNGTONIENNE AT 444 PM Praise for Washingtonienne: "This is pretty cool she sounds like a `fun' girl. I'd like to blog her.'--,James, San - Diego, CA. POSTED BY THE WASHNGTON1ENHE AT 3:39 PM Oooh, RSjust called me. He asked me out again tonight, but I have plans w/ MK Q 9pm. (We're watching the ANTM special together.) Two nights in a row. I like him, but WfF? POsTED BY THE WAS[HNGTONIEHNE AT 2:42 PM By popular demand, I have finally created a key to keeping my sex life straight. In alpha order: AJ=The intern in my office whom I want to fuck. F=Married man who pays me for sex. Chief of Staff at one of the gov agencies, appointed by Bush. J=Lost my virginity to him and fell in love. Dude who has been driving me crazy since 1999. Lives in Springfield, IL. Flies halfway across the country to fuck mc, then I don't hear from him for weeks. MD=Dude from the Senate office I interned in Jan. thru Feb. Hired me as an intern. Broke up my relationship w/ MK (see below). lvi K Serious, long-term boyfriend whom I lived with since break up in March, hut still seeing each other. R=AKA "Threesome Dude." Somebody I would rather forget about. RS=My new office bf with whom I am embroiled in an office sex scandal. The current favorite. 2001. Disastrous W=A sugar daddy who wants nothing but anal. Keep trying to end it with him, hut the money is too good. Shit. I'm flicking POSTED HY six guys. Ewww. HE WASHNGTQNlE.NNE AT 22 PM I am so busted. Went out w/ RS after work yesterday. He took me out for drinks, took me back to my place, and we fucked every which way. THEN he tells me that he heard I've been spreading the spanking rumor around the office! He's not mad, but I am so ashamed of my behavior: I have such a big mouth. It got around and now EVERYBODY knows. Even our LD (who is sleeping with somebody in our office, too, BTW.) But last night was fun. He's ver up-front about sex. He likes talking dirty and stuff, and he told me that he likes submissive women. Good, now I can take it easy in bed. Just lay back and watch him do freaky shit. We went to Tune Inn and ate some shit there because it was the only place open at lam. He walked me home and kissed me at my door. I was like, "Aww, this is so adorable!" He called me "jaded" and told me to call him tomorrow (i.e. today). Jaded? Moi? POSTED BY THE WASH1NGTONENNE AT 9:19 AM MONDAY, MAY 10, 2004 Must watch! America's Next Top Model: The Runway Ahead, Tuesday @ UPN! 9pm on http://www.upn .com/shows/top_inode2/ru n way_ahead/iudex.shtm I O5T0 F3'( T[ WASHlNGTOHENNE AT 6:25 M Updates Went to "lunch (i.e. iced coffee) and on the way back, bumped into both MD and RS! (But not at the same time, TG.) I told MD I had some news, so he sat down with me in the cafeteria and I told him about RS. (I left out the sex. Also, I tried to frame the story like, "Isn't this a totally fuckcd-up situation?". not like I'm trying to make him jealous.) He could not get back to work fast enough. I really don't care if he hates mc or what. He isn't into me anymore anyway. If he was, he would call me more often. Also, he said he's trying to get a job off the Hill asap, so I can stop worrying about bumping into him everywhere I go. So I leave the cafeteria and start walking back to the office, and I see RS. We stopped and talked in the hail and he asked me out for a drink tonight. (Except he doesn't drink?) I look really good today, so I'm glad I hit two birds with one stone during my lunch hour. P051 [) BY I HE WASHING FDNiNNE Al 2:08 PM Wjust c-mailed me: How was your weekend? Thinking of you! Ugh. I wrote back: From now on, we should go out drinking before we go back to your place. I think that would improve everything. I know I said it was "over," but it's not like it matters either way. What can I say, I like money. POStED BY THE WASHINOTONIENNE AT 12:35 PM I am done with `N, for real this time. A man who tries to fuek you in the ass when you are sober does not love you. He should at least take you out for a few drinks to spare you the pain. Now I know that W does not care about me, only my asshole. The whole situation depressed me so much, I turned down a free dinner and asked him to take me home. He peeled off a few hundred from that roll of cash he carries around, and put the hundreds in my hand as I was getting out of the car. I acted indignant, like I don't need his help, but I kept it: why punish myself? I should get something for putting up with his tired old ass. So that's the end of W. The intern did not show at the party on Saturday. I was disappointed, but it's probably for the best. I don't need anymore sex scandals at work. But I'm bummed that he is not as interested as I had imagined. Had a good time with AS and her friend G. We got wasted and I passed out on my floor Saturday night. Sunday, I laid out and got some good sun. Unf I chose a popular tourist picturetaking spot on the Mall, and all these assholes kept trying to snap shots of me in my bikini. I know I'm hot and everything, but please: no pictures! So I went home to take a nap. I opened the door and started walking towards my bedroom, past the kitchen. I noticed a new blender sitting on the counter. BUT I DON'T OWN A BLENDER! I started to call the police, but stopped to think. Who has a key to this place? F! But why a blender? More importantly, why didn't he call first? What if I was in bed with my intern and F popped in with a surprise blender? F c-mailed me this morning to ask if I liked his gift. I just told him that I don't like surprises. I can't afford to stop seeing him, so I didn't bitch him out as much as I should have. I mean, is he crazy or what? Maybe I told him I wanted a blender and don't remember. Even so, why not call? MK came home from his Iceland trip last night and we had another totally redundant and pointless argument about our relationship. We made up before The Sopranos started so I could watch w/o his pissy little distractions. Such a bitch sometimes. But I love him. Back to work now... POSTED THE WASHINGTONtEt'NE AT 11:47 AM FRDAY, MAY 07, 2004 I take weekends off from this blog. So before I go, this is the plan: Take cab over to W's place in Georgetown. Fuck. Get dinner someplace expensive. W drives me home to Cap Hill. Go to keg party at coworker's house. (RS will not be there. Maybe fuck somebody else?) Get 8 hours sleep. Get crahcake Bennifer at Eastern Market before they stop serving breakfast. Run?? Call my friend AS. Will meet up w/ her before party. Hope intern will show. POSTEC 6'? T1L WASHrTO;NE AT 6:38 PM Three weeks. That's how long it took for .1 for start it up again. He's getting better at this long-distance thing. One month was the standard wait. Now it's down to three weeks. We must be getting serious! I got an e-mail from him this afternoon. and we had some back-and-forth. Still with his crazy girlfriend in Springfield, IL. But I shouldn't talk. This is the last thing I need in my life right now: another distraction at work! I am so behind... If it wasn't for e-mail, J and I would have forgotten about each other long ago. So effortless to stay in touch this way. Must wonder about those people who never c mail you: they TRULY do not care. But I like knowing that J still wants me. What makes him decide to send an e mail after all this time? And not just today, but all those times before? Talk about crazy! POSTED BY THE WASHNCT3WEbNE AT 5:24 PM RS just e-mailed me: Hey, had a nice time yesterday. going to NY tonight, but let's get some dinner or something next week. interested? I said yes. What am I getting myself into? Yes, I like him. but am I attracted to him or the impending drama?? I really don't get myself sometimes. POSTED BY THE WASHNGTONiENE AT 2:25 PM The boss who pimped me out to RS just stopped by. She asked me what happened after she left us at the bar. I tried to be as vague implied that she should ask RS himself. Then she mentioned that RS is very discrete, so I am taking that as a hint to keep quiet. Finally, she asked me if I would say yes if he asked me out again. I told her that I would. So it looks like I might have another boyfriend. I hope this does not end badly. POSTED BY THE WASHNGfOWENN.. Al 2:02 PM as possible, but I I told my coworkers about the spanking over lunch, but left out the nasty parts. (We were eating.) So they were shocked. Not sure I should have told them. But they blame him for what happened: he is senior and should know better, esp since he was the sober one. One of them told me that RS wore a purple turtleneck with a bright blue fleece over it at a recent staff retreat. Now I wonder if he's crazy or what. POSTED BY THE WASHNOTONENNE AT 1:16 PM 0MG. RS just came in here to say hi. But I got nervous and acted weird. Shit! POST :.D BY I HE WASHNGTONIENNt. AT 11:03 AM As per my IM discussion with my friend AS this morning, I resolve to: Stop acting like I'm on Spring Break: I'm at work and I need to be more professional in my relations with coworkers. But if that cute intern shows at the party tomorrow, I dont know if I can leave him alone. Choices. POSTED 13Y ThE WASH IOIOHENE AT 10:22 AM To answer The Question, no. RS and I did not fuck. (It is my "week off." if you recall.) BUT... RS looks just like George Clooney when he takes off his glasses. I am serious. Has a great ass. Number of ejaculations: 2 He likes spanking. (Both giving and receiving.) I put the moves on HIM. That is, I brought him back to MY place, I was the one who jumped on HIM. I was drunk, but he was totally sober. (At least I have an excuse for my behavior!) So I'm seeing ANOTHER person on the Hill. At least this one is counsel, and not an aide. Going to lunch with coworkers today. Have a feeling I was invited as the new star of Hot Office Gossip, like a press conference. POSTED EY FHE WASHNGTON!ENE AT 9:33 AM THURSDAY, MAY 06. 2004 Item! A new contender for my fair hand. He works in one of the Committee offices. We will call him RS. RS had my boss ask me out for him! She actually came in here and said, "He thinks you're hot." How junior high! So all three of us are getting a drink at Union Station after work. Looking forward to an evening full of awkward moments. POSTED 8 THE WASHNGTONENE AT 5:54 PM Also, W asked me out for Friday night. I owe him, so I said yes. It's turning out to he another busy day for me. POSTED BY THE WASHNGTOHENNE AT 5:45 PM Oh no. W just c-mailed me. We'll see what he wants... POSTED BY THE WASHNGTONENNE AT 4:56 PM Cute earrings I .... tm?csc aaIog= BR.%5FSumme:r2%5F:3%5F2004&es .CategO15OO 1&cs id5398b87 I'm getting both blue and peach. Aild, yes. I will wear them to the office. POSTED BY THE WASHNGTONEN'1E AT 4:46 PM Item! I just got a phone call from Tortilla Coast. Their Cinco de Mayo taco-eating contest (which I skipped) is rescheduled for 7:30pm, Thursday, May 13th. The Tortilla Coast manager called to ensure my participation. Whoever eats the most taco in 5 minutes wins a TV. I beat several grown men in the prelimi.naiy contest on Tuesday. Bring it on. POSTED BY THE WASHNGTONiiNNE AT 3:26 PM What to hate/love about D.C. "I hate the self-importance, the minor-league one-upmanship, and the incredibly stubborn resistance to glamour. I love it that you can get famous for just talking."--Ana Marie Cox (AKA the Wonkette) So true. I hate the pizza and bagels here. Hate D.C. sidewalks: not made for ladies in high heels. Love how hard-up the men are. Love these easy gov jobs. Now back to work. For real this time. POSTF_D BY THE WASHNGT0NlENNE AT 11:32 AM Item! (For those of you from da `Cuse) From the D.O.: "Konrad's closed amid chaos h POsEL) BY THE WASHING FONI.NNE. AT 10:40 AM So I did a little work so far this morning. Am satisfied enough with myself to blog briefly. In summaly, Wednesday was a revolving door of men, with me pushing one out after another. Item! My period started today. Out of nowhere. Fuck. Am wearing a khaki skirt. Must find a tampon: a chance to bond with the girls in my office! POSTED Y THE WASHNGTONIENNE AT 10:37 AM Before I get to what the surprise was, let me So. like 15 set the scene: yesterday's last post, MD calls me and asks me out for a drink, knowing that I have plans at 8pm. I met him in Hart and we wrote minutes after I walked down to my neighborhood on the House side. We had a friendly drink at Politiki, which is about 2 blocks away from my place. BTW, that place was dead for Happy Hour. Everybody was getting their Cinco de Mayo Coronas elsewhere. So he followed me home around 7:30. I told MD about R, and about R's surprise for me at home. I was pleased to find a bottle of champagne (Piper) and a note. I don't remember what it said, but R signed it with an "XO" at the end. I crumpled it up before MD could read it. MD was impressed I could be so mean and still get a present out of it. Then MD tried to get some action, but I was too freaked out about MK coming over at 8. I would have had a quickie if I had shaved it, so I was "hard-to-get" instead. Unf, MD knows me better thaml that: he knew I really wanted it, but I kicked him out with his hard-on. A big one. Sigh. So I got MD out the door, and MK caine over shortly after. Went to II Radicchio, had pizza and wine, then back to my place. MK leaves for Iceland today for a long weekend, so he slept over and we had lovely farewell sex this morning. Now at the office, and must really start doing actual work. POSTED PY THE WASHiNGTONENNE AT 10:00 AM WEDNESDAY, MAY05, 2004 Just got off the phone with R. Making sure he is out of my apartment and on his way back to NY. I have a date with MK tonight and do not need R to blow up my spot. R is waiting for a train at Union Station. Says he left "a little something" for me at the apartment. I can only imagine the worst: a bomb? A shit? We'll see... 8PM I have a "glamour job" on the Hill. That is, I could not care less about gov or politics, but working for a Senator looks good on my resume. And these marble hallways are such great places for meeting boys and showing off my outfits. POSTED BY THE WASHIIIOTONIENNE AT 5:32 PM PREVIOUS POSTS What is this? This is an exact reproduction (fr... I just took a long lunch with P and made a quick $... ItS called last night, lie had a visitor flying in f... Rec'd an e-mail from S today: Hey there. Ughh, A Syracuse girl makes good: http://www.nypostc... s t First, T want to give a shout-out to my friend 5... 1 got a raise today! Now I make $25K. (Wasn't t.. Going to see the movie Troy tonight RS told mc to... MK found my half-empty bottle of K-Y last night. H... Item! "The Real World: D.C." See today's Wonket... ARCHIVES May 2004 BIog mr

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